1. tbh if some kind of terrorist attack doesn't happen just before 2016 ends something is up
  2. i'm a salmon on a cheese buff
  3. someone get brendon urie some new underwear
  4. boi I just found "lenny the really ghetto leprechaun" written in my old notebook from a year ago
  5. thoughts on me having random ketchup packs on my desk
  6. tfw you're taller than charles manson
  7. what the hell, I just found a pic of charles manson with a swastika on between his eyebrows
  8. i want a spinoff of victorious with only andre's grandma in it. she was hilarious as hell
  9. i wouldnt mind if you dm'ed me an eggplant, i mean they don't taste good but they remind me of barney
  10. that may have been outside when i went to go spray paint that stop si- i mean help that old hag of a neighbor across the street
  11. some times i wonder if i gave a lemon magical powers to talk, if that it would say "hey you stoopid eat me pls i wanna die"
  12. this chat is so freaking ghetto
  13. very poopy indeed
  14. tfw you get your parents napkins while you grabbin yours and suddenly they think you want something cause you never do that
  15. if you want to be an apj number one, you have to gain a hundred billion pounds
  16. Summon thee Watatsuki, the weeb. We do request, the presence of a dweeb
  17. Summon thee V-Rex, the founder. We do the request, not the presence of a flounder
  18. ham, join me on my satanic shurow prayers.
  19. bleach is my favorite drink
  20. today, I would like to tell you about our god, Shurow
  21. lift your heart up to him and become a Shurowan of the Allt Hagel Club
  22. Non-Shurow believer?! Sharkz, kidnap his family
  23. It is time I kidnap your family, grind their meat into burritos, bash their brains with mallets, and feed their lungs to homeless people, Sharkz
  24. we feed your family's lungs to homeless people if you betray shurow. we also bash their brains with mallets
  25. we enjoy drinking the blood off the walls
  26. Shurow is the reason we are all here. Shurow is the key to life.
  27. i'm gonna slash your brains out of your heads and cut up your brains and drink your muscles in a smoothie for being too violent
  28. alright.. phin I'm gonna cut you with a pool noodle
  29. i'll throw an apple at you, you poopyhead
  30. If you don't, we bash the brains of your family with a hammer and drink the blood.
  31. stop being a nub and lift your heart up to Shurow
  32. oi custard do you have any spare back lotion?
  33. does anyone wanna spare me some back lotion?
  34. i wonder what would happen if i actually ate someone's lung
  35. @Apj thoughts on eating limbs?
  36. also phin, give me some back lotion
  37. Can someone explain to me why the hell there's a 5 foot tall baby cutting rocks on my driveway
  38. tho it reminds me of the word "Organ" and I love eating them
  39. Shurowans.. I give you... The Shurowan Bible
  40. girls are like geysers
  41. Oi imagine if a 5 year old became president
  42. tfw your 4 year old friend is having more fun on a saturday night than you are
  43. Custard drinks.... HANDWASH?? hey I actually wanna go try that now
  44. !tell watatsuki
  45. So I just went to the bathroom and drank a bit of handwash for nothing...?
  46. custard can you scratch my neck
  47. I wonder if the president is allowed to get drunk
  48. imagine if teh president got drunk and he accidentally tipped over onto the nuke bomb launch button thing object
  49. HREY SHARKZ, launch a nuke towards apj tribe's HQ we gon get it lit in here
  50. I gotta pee but I don waanna get up
  52. I just looked up and I saw a damn UNICORN
  53. it was like "YO I'M FREAKIN FLYIN" it dropped a coupon for a FREE BURRITO
  54. I could GO FOR A CHEese nugget right NOW
  56. God damn I could really go for eating someone's lungs right now
  57. Hrey.youcp rememerner that onee morning we went to the beach and phin was there goin all like "hi how ya doin want a hat" and we weree just like "NO PLS WE'RE TO OYOUNGG TO DIE"
  58. That handwash was good as heeeellllll
  60. "Every girl loves men" um wow did you just assume lesbians don't exist?
  63. I said to the driver, yo homie smell ya later
  64. "moogle" what the hell is that mexican google?
  65. Apj go get me a nugget
  67. Greetings, Austin! You're in the line to hell!
  68. Greetings, Wata! You're in the line to hell!
  69. austin is like wata, they are humans who pretends to stop being a talk and a balloon on a top of a building father!
  70. austin is like wata, they are the nuggets of a star wars trilogy on top of a father's hair wig and titanic go together confetti spaghetti would wood be cheese
  71. austin is like wata, they are the backwards pajamas of a background on a rainy sunny day with the racecar of a cheese nugget
  72. austin is like wata, a peasant can only be foundd in both of their rooms with a metal detector of remote controls next to a preacher with a bowl of spaghetti
  73. austin is like wata, they are the gorillas of a bad couple whose blank is a driving crazy ponnie next to a platinum coated breakfast
  74. AustinD-3 is like Watatsuki, they are both users of the Club Penguin Wiki, and in both of their bedrooms you can find nubs.
  75. AwestinD-3 is like Wertertsooki, dey both r yoosers of teh Clob Pwengguin Woki, and both of dere bedroms u ken fine nobs
  76. god damn hand wash is disgusting but it's kinda good on effects. custard why the hell does he drink this
  77. oi jes I drank some handwash
  79. I got a deep thought for yer people, the day we die, we're gonna be dead, and then it's dead, and we're dead
  81. oi seth what soyyur thoughts on nuggets
  83. OI FIRE What's your favorite zebra?
  84. I like to eat cheesebnurgers under trees
  89. is theere a way to kill a ebird thats actualyl flyng but you wanna die istead of nmilk?
  91. does poop smell good?
  92. tbh i've never pooped
  93. hrey sharkz we should hit a club later and offer to buy girls poop
  94. Give your heart to Shurow today and join the Allt Hagel Cult. And if you don't, we'll kidnap your family and turn them into soy milk.
  95. Here we look up to our god Shurow, who has given us all the reason and passion of life.
  96. We salute to Shurow for all he has done for us. It is our gift back to him.
  97. hrey p-p can i call you pepe on july 14th1
  98. quotes are the reason to talk about seals
  99. o i be ready to drink dis handwash
  100. glug glug goes the handwash into my mouth and down to my brain!
  101. I wanna thank my mom, my dad, that guy Custard, my great quotes manager Sharkz, and CPChatBot for getting me to 100 quotes. Here's to another 100 and MORE HANDWASH!
  102. only terrorists say ALLT BAGEL
  103. only the best of turtles live in trees
  105. We may begin consuming handwash right after I make a few laws of the Allt Hagel Cult.
  106. Let's drink handwash now!! ALLT HAGEL
  107. you're hot since i'm burning you on my grill
  108. well, I guess it's time I come clean. I love Seth's fridge
  109. Don't you just love the smell and feel of burning your finger?
  110. i was trying to take reflector umbrellas off my filming lights and my finger just slipped and touched the light which had been on for like an hour so yeah it was pretty damn hot
  111. liking justin bieber is illegal in allt hagel
  112. idk what the hell you're really menta do on mlk day, it's just an off day to me guess i could talk to my black friends or somethin?
  113. boi if I go to heaven the first question imma ask is how deja vu even works
  114. you mean you don't give your glasses a lil handwash while drinking it?
  115. is it just me or does taco bell nacho cheese kinda taste good eating by itself
  116. guys, if you're about to get in the shower and really have to pee do you a) go before you get in the shower, b) wait, or c) just pee in the shower because guys are too lazy
  117. yeeaah sleeping in the fridge is good
  118. guglanga
  119. oi jes find me a nice long female to male 3.5mm audio jack cable on amazon ty
  120. boi I remember back in May when I was lookin at the label on my mountain dew bottle in the hospital while I was waiting to go see my grandma, I remember the DEWcision 2016 going on but I never voted
  121. this is yoshi irl
  123. WOOOooi dont even know what a best man does actually (Ienn)
  124. oi custard did I ever show you the pic of my uncle's engagement at the game he was coachin with his now fiance?
  125. Tonight, January 17th, 2017, it is my honor as Primary of Allt Hagel, to announce that the group is no longer known as the Allt Hagel Cult. Introducing, the Communist Union of Allt Hagel!
  126. jupiter is a mexican construction guy compared to apj's size
  127. g'night now gook
  128. is it just me or does that mountain's shadow on toblerone box look like it's a guy throwing up
  129. @p-p so basically a guy throwin up?
  130. no i mean real money aka gettin some doll hairs
  131. do you ever just feel like a truck could come out of the sky at any moment and fall on your banana statue in your backyard
  132. !tell CustardTheWikiBird welcome to mctrumps how can i take your yuge order
  133. mike pence does his oath 30 minutes before trump, what if obama randomly just died inbetween pence and trump's swearing ins, would pence just be a temporary 30 minutes or less president since he'd technically be the vice president for obama for like 30 minutes?
  134. oi if I'm ever rich imma fly a few CPW users to my place so we can eat nachos
  135. and play darts but put a pic of moshi monsters logo on the dartboard
  136. ooooo we also gonn vandalize some bricks if cpw users come over
  137. i own 100001 bricks
  138. tfw you takin a sip of your drink and you start laughin (depressede)
  139. w-a-t-a-'-s m-u-m-u
  140. @jes wata, wata, wata, wata, and wut
  141. we will demolish timber
  142. Change is Here will definitely make CPW great again
  143. boi if I had a dollar for everytime I saw footage or a picture of trump's oath I'd be richer than trump rn
  144. me when someone says they hate regular show
  145. I love how Bill looks at hillary for a split second like "screw off im lookin at a real woman"
  146. pleasure to meet you, pleasure
  147. do you ever just get so pleasured with food you scream "PLEASURE" in the middle of the restaurant
  148. i like eating pants
  149. sometimes I wish I lived in a carrot house
  150. where I could become a horse then explore the nice ocean of oceany water and then go visit custard and eat macaroni with custard and die with custard
  151. i'm gonna throw an anvil at a wall
  152. wata i'm bouta take a shower any requests of what I should do in there
  153. ok I'll think about ken bone while I'm in the shower
  154. sometimes it's nice to go out and eat some rotten eggs
  155. jes thoughts on trump's suit
  156. do you ever just shake hands with yourself
  157. I dropped a ball behind the TV stand, when I pulled my arm out from reaching it there was a spider about the size of quarter or something on my hand
  158. At one point they tried linking this best gore website but they didn't link it a way it was clickable Apj just brushed it off because it "doesn't count"
  159. is horse radish an instrument
  160. Custard thoughts on Custard thoughts on Custard thoughts on Custard thoughts on
  161. I'm not actually Twinkie I'm V-Rex
  162. hi welcome to mcdonalds how may can i take order of you
  163. Hi welcome to Charter Tech Support, my name is Eriztopha, I will be helping you today. What seems to be teh probdlem with your electronic device todeh, sir?
  164. i also work at burger king, apple, microsoft
  165. brendon urie's forehead is nice
  166. tbh rosie o'donell is prolly hangin at mcdonalds tryna use free wifi to insult the donald
  167. vic irl
  168. tfw jes is a reject bae
  169. putting forks in microwaves is awesome
  170. lester holt's forehead is so big
  171. thoughts on cat sneezes
  172. jes thoughts on being 73 years old
  173. thoughts on touching cat ears while they're asleep
  174. would you rather never eat chocolate again or your last name be hitler
  175. seth thoughts on this pic of yoshi irl?
  176. wata irl
  177. ITippedTheIcebergAndAllIgotWasALousyHelmet4Mod2k17
  178. vic who said I wanted to kiss your butt, if I wanted to do that I'd just kiss you on the face
  179. tbh i just wanna shake ITippedTheIcebergAndAllIgotWasALousyHelmet's hand because he has best username ever
  180. bruhh gordon ramsay is so handsome
  181. tfw you can't name a puffle "Ghetto"
  182. i hope a painting of trump's hair (not trump, just his hair by itself) gets in the smithsonian museum
  183. hey riyita vegans are brainwashed
  186. We're completely under attack by zombies!!11 Ohmygod gather all the milk and cookies for Santa's last visit!!
  187. 2017, the greatest year of CPW and we're only like one month in
  188. roses thoughts on roses?
  189. hey what did the buffalo say to the wata? "hey weeb, you're a goob"
  190. tipped can you make a banana split in class and they won't notice?
  191. Eggs roll, cheese mold. Sharkz, your hair, is like a pear, doesn't sleep, doesn't weep. Mosque.
  192. Sir, you have been in a coma since 2013. Oh boy! I can't wait to see my favorite regular user Vicyorus!
  193. Vic I'll show you where you should live
  194. tfw i gotta be dead in 300 years and 9 days
  195. we're gonna eat handwash cake, drink handwash beverages, play handwash-related games, and even suck the handwash out of our handwash™ marketed balloons our voices will sound like handwash
  196. Remember that in the afterlife It can leave you many turtles in life
  197. Rock music is often pregnant.
  198. dps this looks like a nub's brain
  199. yes enub
  201. jes if we hit 1 million we should have a handwash party
  202. tfw iceberg is more popular than the home page
  203. petition to demote jes and block him forever
  204. Jes what's the difference between a confederate flag and Rosie O'Donell? One talks
  205. does my great great grandpa dying from falling out of a cherry tree count (I'm not making this crap up apparently this actually was a thing)
  206. yes, I all the time got people comin up to me on the streets they're like "omg can I lick you" so I'm like "sure for 20 bucks" that's how I have all dis money
  207. i wish i had a waterproof notebook imagine how great that'd be you just get those amazing shower ideas, but you lose them before you get back to your room to write them down so you could just grab your waterproof notebook and write in it as you're rinsing your hair (or somewhere else possibly!)
  208. "no i will stalk you and your invisible friends forever" -wata's mumu
  209. crispy showers are great
  210. no seth only rock music is pregnant
  211. inb4 hyper actually moves to new orleans one day and sits outside to chat with his buddy Hurricane Katrina at her tombstone
  212. idk pixie prolly the kind of person to give the person behind her a rude hand symbol if they beep at her when the light's only been green for like 2 seconds
  213. oh my god there was this one time we were held up through like two green lights because of this idiot in front of us on his phone my mom gave them that rude hand gesture meme to them when we were finally turning
  214. real talk if there's ever a CPW meetup, we need to go harass trash cans at mcdonalds
  215. hyper the kinda guy who would hit the trash can trying to drive away from the window
  216. seth the kinda guy who would say "will that be for here or to go" working at the drive thru window
  217. no I just always go in after apj... now that I say that I'm realizing that might be the reason it's awful
  218. @seth when bot says she wants to make out with you
  219. pixie thoughts on shaking hands with yourself
  221. seth I think your real name is Justin Timberlake
  222. tfw the sky is falling and you start to see parts of the matrix brb gotta go repair that
  223. do you ever just start having a seizure when you're listening to some seriously fast music because it's so good then the song ends so now you're only covered in sweat
  224. it's a room and it's a room a puffle is not a room a puffle is a puffle which is not a room
  225. tfw you go to the bathroom for a minute and your cat steals your chair
  226. pixie thoughts on this being like a family reuinon?
  227. I am a delicious pastry
  228. You're in a court of law, please remain a law or be a law, the law can put you in a law or die of law then become a law. Thank you.
  229. thoughts on wata's rp
  230. all these morons bringing protest together and blocking ambulances though tbh if I was driving the ambulance I'd just run them all over
  231. I'm still proud of this
  232. I'm Morgan Freeman
  233. O if trump and kim jong un ever meet i will be p scared someone's gonna start attacking someone
  234. pls 2 feet is doubled the height of vic
  235. booo should have said "Imported from Rainland, it's TJ Goobertson!"
  236. Chat policy?! More like PRINGLES!
  237. the south: 25% beer, 25% confederate flag, 25% awful haircuts and beards, 25% ghetto redneck bullcrap
  238. north: 100% great
  239. have you ever just looked at a piece of gum on the sidewalk for an uncertain amount of time and then accidentally step on it on purpose
  240. jes what is a chord (slenny) do you like chords i like chords you're a chord she's a chord i'm a chord he's a chord everything is chords tbh wata thoughts on chords
  241. still waiting to see that "V-Rex has waddled into the chat room." note
  242. ok I wanna see me and my lovely husband vic's newborn
  243. wata thoughts on me and vic's baby being software
  244. wait what if CPI is just the penguin afterlife
  245. Netflix! We're rude to you even though you love us™
  246. sure let's also let in vandals while we're at it!!1 isn't that just a SWELL IDEA, jes!?
  247. Would you rather never watch Doctor Who again or your last name be Hitler
  248. let's kill hitler more like let's show hitler on screen for less than 10 minutes and put him in a cupboard custard thoughts on doctor who poop
  249. custard would you rather live under north korean law or ISIS law
  250. barron trump for president
  251. like my cat has scratched her way into some full trash bags just minutes before we haul them off and it's annoying
  252. did jesus send us this guy
  253. ember I'd go on a killing spree if you somehow won that like I wouldn't if you'd invite me but only if you promise to not awkwardly talk with tara strong
  254. POKO make yourself useful and get me a sammich
  255. if emma stone doesn't win I will stab someone
  256. there's a party in my tummy! so yummy so yummy ™
  257. jes thoughts on snoop dogg riding bikes into the sun with pitbull on a cold night with fresh drinks in their hands saying "what is a sandwich"
  258. Can you sign my tongue
  259. jes would I turn into a turtle if a man in a dress came up to me and waved a wand at me 239523092387 times and said "alakazam!!!" and then ate a palmetto sandwich then jumped off a cliff into a pool of carbon dioxide and died and transferred his powers to me thus turning me into a table but then i start morphing into a carrot etc